Impossible and forbidden

I'll wait patiently for thing I want. I already got some of the things that I want. I still can't get the thing that I want the most. So, wait is the only thing I can do.

I start to feel uneasy if I don't get back the reply on time. But once I got it, even just one, I feel relieved and satisfied. I feel happy if I get back more. It makes me smile even I just think about it. It brightens up my day and it gives me hope.

I guess I know why these things happen, but I don't want it to happens, somehow. Probably because I know it is not really possible. The possibility for it to happens is about 10 percent only. Or maybe even 5. If it really will happens, I guess it is a forbidden thing to happens...Now, I just want to know the feeling first.

PS: I think I'm a coward. I'm afraid to confess if I have a crush on someone, even to a close friend. I have to overcome my fear and be bolder :)